Excerpts from Doug Quint's mind and waistline.

 

Doughboy's Donuts, Rockford IL

Doughboy's Donuts, Rockford IL

Living in rural-ish Illinois means I'm on constant lookout for three things: a vintage four-seater Formica dining table, good donuts and awesome pie. 

Years ago I would have also included great pizza in my scavenger hunt but I've scratched that from the list. The sad truth is that once I am out of the tri-state area I assume any local pizza is going to be shit. D2 has turned me on to Jack's Pizza, freezer-aisle pizza that is honestly better than almost any pizzeria around. Same with bagels- I'd rather go to the Wal-Mart freezers for a bag of Thomas than screw around with the abominations I'd surely find out here. I can't even stand those things that Montrealers call bagels. Heresy.

We did manage to find a pretty good pizza joint here in Freeport name Maria's. I ordered to-go from there a few days ago and asked for "light cheese on half of the pie." The counter person just stared at me. "On half of the what?" This has happened three times now. I'm in a part of the world where pizza isn't a pie. It hurts, so I've keep the thorn from working in further by moving pizza out of the central role it has played since my birth. I have even fattier stars in my eyes.

My devotion to pie (pie pie, not pizza pie) is still paramount but so far there have been no local blips on my pie-dar. I've also had my eyes and mouth open for good donuts. I've hit the few places in Freeport and to be bitterly truthful, they suck. No names. It's not going to help the situation. 

The closest "city" is Rockford, about 40 minutes east of home. I've been online trolling Rockford's donut scene and there seem to be several contenders for my tastebuds. Last Friday I had a dentist visit- my first time in a couple of years. The last time I went I saw a scam artist on the Upper East Side. She more or less stole $1400 from me and it left a bad taste in my mouth (sorry) that made me avoid the whole plaque and tartar scene for a bit. This dentist seems to be on the up-and up and I aced my check-up- one filling needs to be replaced- but otherwise a perfect score. Potential cavities started calling out to me. 

Saturday morning I had to skip breakfast and head over to a Quest Diagnostic* in Rockford. The blood draw was the same routine junk plus several tests that my shrink ordered- both Seroquel and Lamictal can cause a few kinks in the system so there I was enjoying a blood-letting. 

I swear it's call "fasting" because the moment I have a band-aid over that puncture I run as fast I can towards SNACK. This was obviously the perfect time to check out one of Rockford's reputable donut options. Doughboy's Donuts didn't let me down. A chocolate glazed cruller left my fingers just sticky enough to give em a quick licking. The cinnamon bun- so far away from the nauseating wreck that is Cinnabon- was really just lovely. 

 Light, not drenched with sticky glop. It tore apart easily and happily, revealing the cinnamon sugar between curls. I've got some sticky stuff on my thumb, and I slammed my pinky in the oven door.

Light, not drenched with sticky glop. It tore apart easily and happily, revealing the cinnamon sugar between curls. I've got some sticky stuff on my thumb, and I slammed my pinky in the oven door.

I bought three more cinnamon buns to go. I was quite pleased to come home with some genuinely awesome pastries. Doughboy's donuts is now joined with my hips and Sinnamon Bunz is now my imaginary drag queen name. 

*Yes, naturally I have a great story about Quest that deserves its own post. A baroque bassoon, bananas, a Manhattan apartment with a pipe organ in it. One of these days.

Dog Shots

Dog Shots

Recipe: Bourbon Butterscotch Ice Cream

Recipe: Bourbon Butterscotch Ice Cream