Excerpts from Doug Quint's mind and waistline.

 

Four hours in Boulder CO

Four hours in Boulder CO

Top: Monkey Bread from Shamane's Bake Shop.

The previous (and only) time I visited Boulder was in 1991 when my sister Janet was living in Denver and working as a nurse. She does that frequently- she's a nurse. I don't recall if she was in the ER or Trauma Unit but I suppose it doesn't really matter. The point is that helicopters brought this hospital the worst ski accidents. One memorable patient had a ski pole that entered through his soft palate and exited just below the base of his skull. You could see the pole through his mouth. 

Anyhow, that's probably about as much gore as I should include in a pie post. Shamane's Bake Shoppe [edited to add the "pe" to "shoppe"] is just outside downtown Boulder in what seems to be a technology park. The other tables were inhabited by folks not eating; they were on iPads or conducting mini meetings. This is why we cover the outlets in the seating areas at our shops. 

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Strawberry rhubarb pie. I shouldn't have done it- strawberry and rhubarb, I just can't take that combo anymore. The crust was quite fantastic but I am so tired of those flavors that I couldn't finish the filling. My fault. 

What is it called when you jam a few cinnamon buns into a single pan or mold? Is it monkey bread? It's darned good. There was enough icing on it, not too much and not too little. I'm a real bastard when it comes to frosting and icing. There is a reason we say "that's the icing on the cake" and not "that's the cupcake under the frosting." If I see a cupcake with a frosting death-spiral piped atop it I retch. Honestly. I look at that mound and gag. Why?! Why do they* do this to me?

Anyhow, fuck cupcakes and long live whatever this thing is. 

*"They" do lots of things to me, including make me take wrong turns that I don't notice for miles, and drink copious amounts of skim milk. 

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MORK AND MINDY'S HOUSE!

Robin Williams attended The Juilliard School seventeen years before me but there were still plenty of stories about him floating around during my tenure. The "Nora-and-Mrs Doubtfire" connection is too complicated to explain here, suffice to say that it involves compression socks. If rumor is to be believed he did copious amounts of blow. When I look back at Mork and Mindy (78-82) it sure is easy to believe! I remember watching the show and even at 9 years old I thought "what is he on?!"

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I hit the Pearl Street Mall, downtown Boulder's pedestrian shopping area. The best thing there is the county court house. The "mall" is pretty depressing. Lush cosmetics, Ecco shoes, Starbucks, Cheesecake Factory, and a Christian Science Reading Room- this place has it all, if by "all" you mean the same shit you can find anywhere else. There were some cute shops that appeared to be independent but I don't need a dream catcher or a "Hillary 4 Prison" shirt. I would like to have tried Fior di Latte Gelato but they weren't open yet and it became time to start my way back to the airport. 

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Boulder currently doesn't have a single donut shop (except for a Dunkin, which I don't want to bother factoring in). Boulder surprisingly seems to be behind the curve on some things, and this is really curious to me. Donuts are IT. It does seem that people in Boulder only talk about four things: Apple, hiking, biking, and coffee. Maybe eating delicious crap just isn't on their agenda. 

I like to crowdsource recommendations. Many are way off base, but this one is spot on. A Twitter follower pointed me to Lamar's Donuts, about 15 miles SE of Boulder in a town called Louisville. 

I usually look places up ahead of time, but this one was right along my path so I just jumped in. These bastards were GOOD. I tried a glazed sour cream, a coffee cake and an apple glazed. They have 20+ locations but when the product is this good it deserves some shameless plugging regardless. Gimme Lamar's Donuts anytime. 

Time's up. I'm now at the Denver airport and I've just taken a few Benadryl. Those as cheap as I am will want to know that those Benadryl are 88 cents each when paying the Hudson News price. Boulder and Denver, I need to figure you out. In the 25 years since my last visit the area has been pummeled by sprawl. I'd need and like to do some digging here and find out what great independent food business are here- on cursory glance there's way too much mall food. Don't be mad if I haven't figured you out yet, Coloradians. I'm on it. I'll find you. 

  Maybe I'm wrong. They look totally sober here! 

Maybe I'm wrong. They look totally sober here! 

Recipe: Blueberry Ice Cream

Recipe: Blueberry Ice Cream

I-80, Wyoming

I-80, Wyoming